With the Hazleton Area School Board's reversal on the controversial blue jeans and big logos ban in the new dress code, one item is still getting parents in a frenzy: clear backpacks. It's not so much an issue of invasion of privacy as an invasion of wallets. Many parents claim the clear backpacks fall apart faster than a paper hat on a rainy day, and they don't want to buy new backpacks every month.

So I decided to put clear backpacks to the test. I scoured area stores, buying backpacks like a madwoman and then subjected them to a rigorous set of hazards. I soaked them in the shower, stabbed them with pencils, kicked them down a flight of stairs, dragged them along a rocky stretch of sidewalk and finished by lighting them on fire. (Just another day at the office)

What did I learn? That kicking the crap out of backpacks is a heck of a lot of fun and should probably be added to the roster of events ESPN's "Extreme Games." I also discovered what most parents already suspected: clear backpacks don't hold up as well as their nylon counterparts.
The clear contestants were Trailmaker Equipment ($13, Boscovs) Eastport ($10, The Shoe Department), Roma Kids ($7, The Shoe Department) and Simply See Thru ($8, WalMart).
No clear packs were available at Ames or Kmart the day I shopped.

I picked up a nylon bag called Extreme Sport ($13, Boscovs), and subjected it to the same tests and compared the results. It performed as good or better than the clear bags in almost all of the tests and was the overall best buy. To test capacity, I stuffed the backpacks with volumes of the World Book Encyclopedia. Knowing the load most kids carry, I tried to cram as many books as I could into each bag. Both zippers on the Eastport bag broke almost immediately. I repaired the zippers with pliers but they broke again, this time permanently. For the remainder of the competition, Eastport competed unzipped.

Trailmaker fared best with 13 volumes. Simply See Thru was simply spacious, with nine books. Roma Kids fit six books with enough room left to hold a wadded up sweatshirt. The nylon bag accommodated only four books, but larger versions were available for a few more bucks.
I doused the bags with a two-minute shower to test water resistance. All the bags kept the notebook dry, except the Eastport, which suffered without zippers. Simply See Thru was the best, keeping the notebook bone dry.

Next I decided to soften the bags up by filling them with 15-pound weights and suspending them off the back of our office chairs for 24 hours. The idea was to test the endurance of the straps, but the test failed: our chairs fell over whenever anyone stood up, so I left the test off my chart.

The second day of testing started off with a bang actually 12 bangs as I (with the help of some of my male co-workers, who eagerly volunteered) punted the loaded backpacks down a flight of stairs. We repeated this three times. The Simply See Thru backpack was simply lousy at resisting the sharp edges of a metal ruler stuffed inside, along with a couple of books, pencils and pens. The ruler tore a ¾ inch gash on the second tumble, and by the third kick it suffered a second ½-inch wound. The nylon bag held up the best, with no major tears and just a few scuffs; nothing a good dusting couldn't fix. The Roma Kids clear backpack also refused to rip.

The backpacks were still for the most part intact, so I devised the most grueling test of all: dragging the packs with 15 pounds of weights inside through one city block of gravel-strewn sidewalks.
Trailmaker was the first to go down. A gaping, mortal wound the size of a fist opened in the bottom. Simply See Thru held together about as well as the Hindenburg. Oh, the humanity. The nylon bag held up best, but a strap frayed and snapped. The bottom was still intact, though, and with a little needle and thread the bag was still usable.

Next, I sharpened my No. 2 pencils and proceeded to jab the backpacks in tribute to the opening scene from "Scream." The Simply See Thru and Trailmaker backpacks parted like Saran Wrap. Eastport and Roma were tougher, but eventually succumbed. It took the weight of a full grown man to puncture the nylon bag.

To test fire resistance, I held each backpack against a match for three seconds. The office filled with a cloud of noxious smoke, and my co-workers and I had to pull our shirts over our faces to filter the air.

(Okay, before we continue with the results of the test, let's review: So far, in the pursuit of investigative journalism, I have been exposed to noxious fumes, performed surgical backpack repairs, caused major damage to my office chair and endured the strange looks of passersby as I dragged a bunch of weight-filled backpacks down the street. Diane Sawyer, eat your heart out.)

Anyway, I discovered that the nylon bag was best. Simply See Thru and Roma Kids bubbled, but didn't break. Trailmaker and Eastport had holes the size of a quarter and needed to be dunked in water.

Overall, the nylon did best, but until scientists invent invisible nylon or the School Board reverses its decision, it isn't an option. Of the clear bags, Roma Kids scored best but didn't have nearly enough room for a teenager's books. Simply See Thru gets my reluctant endorsement for the older set.
The best bet is to follow the lead of several parents, and purchase a spare. You'll probably need it. If you don't, you can use it to take out your frustrations at the School Board's clear backpack mandate. Kicking a backpack down a flight of stairs can do wonders for your disposition.

PART 2
Some Stores Will Take Back Fragile Backpacks
By Bobbi Dempsey

They may have a shorter lifespan than a carnival goldfish, but the good news is depending on where you shop you have a chance to get your money back if your clear backpack is disappointingly short-lived.

After many local parents expressed doubts that the clear backpacks required by the Hazleton Area School District would barely make it through first period, I conducted an admittedly unscientific test of several different brands.

True, we inflicted the damage on purpose, but nonetheless, it was still the exact same treatment dragged on sidewalk, flung down a flight of stairs and packed with pencils these backpacks will receive from my three sons once school starts.

In fact, I actually treated the bags better than my sons would. After all, I didn't subject the bags to the "use as a weapon to bash your brothers while killing time at the bus stop" test. So, after determining the backpacks aren't exactly "high endurance," I decided I'd do what any consumer would -demand a refund.

Or at least ask nicely.

Parents may be relieved to know that some retailers were quite understanding about taking the bags back. My first stop: Wal-Mart, where the exchange went like this:
Me: "I'd like to return a backpack (pulling it out of the shopping bag).
Cashier: "Is there a problem with oh, I see" (noting the gaping hole on the bottom of backpack).
I explained that I tested the bag to determine if it would hold up to my kids, and it obviously failed.
Cashier: "I guess you don't want another one."
I promptly received a credit.
A similar result at Boscov's, where several employees seemed surprised by the bag's poor performance, although one noted, "I knew they wouldn't hold up. Wait until the cold weather hits them." Just as at Wal-Mart, I received a prompt return accompanied by friendly service.
I know what you're thinking. You'd get good service too if you arrived at the store armed with a press pass and with pencil poised to note any bad encounters.
Lest the cynical jump to the conclusion that the good service was connected to my newspaper reporter designation, I should note that both cashiers were friendly and helpful before they knew my name or where I worked.
Unfortunately, the same can't be said for The Shoe Department.
Examining one of the two bags I wanted to return, the cashier declared a fist-sized hole in the bottom as "normal wear and tear," for which the store won't be held responsible.
Another cashier added, "We don't guarantee they'll hold up."
Some words of advice for readers: First, of course, I don't advocate deliberately roughing up a defenseless backpack . Second, most retailers will only issue a refund within 30 days of purchase, and some require a receipt. But it is encouraging to learn that at least two local stores seem very cooperative toward backpack returns.
And because these stores in turn send the bags back to the manufacturer, it is hoped the companies will get the message and make some improvements to their bags.
In the meantime, it's a good idea to check a store's return policy before buying the backpacks.
So like that ill-fated carnival goldfish your money won't end up down the drain.